(What you are about to read are true confessions from various former, and occasionally current employees in the industrial giant known as the hospitality industry. All names have been changed, as have most locations. What remains true are the stories of employees; the good, bad, ugly, heartwarming, heartbreaking, scary, action-packed and unique stories that only that industry could bring.)

 

This story technically takes place at a grocery store but I dealt with the public so often that I’m considering it a hospitality job.

 

I was 17 and even though I lived with my parents and all expenses were covered, I was bored and desperate for a job. A grocery store chain local to my area of the country luckily gave me a job sacking groceries. Their big claim why you should work for them was that they paid above minimum wage.

 

Minimum wage in my state at the time of this story, 2010, was $7.25/hour. They paid $7.50/hr. I know, so above minimum wage. Whatever, I was 17 and needed money to do stupid things with. That, and I could start building a resume at a young age. I was surprisingly ambitious in my younger days and thought this could be an excellent opportunity.

 

Then, I actually started working. All ambition left me within two weeks and I just goofed off 90 percent of the time. But, any fun I had was quickly disbanded by one of the worst human beings to ever exist. This lady was so wicked looking and had the appearance of a strung out meth head.

 

Her cheeks were sunken in, she was just skin and bones, her neck was so thin that you could see the arteries and tendons, her teeth were all jacked up and she had emphysema. Her voice was so gravelly and raspy that I avoided talking to her at all costs because her voice was torture to listen to. And this might’ve just been my brain playing tricks on me, but I remember her eyes always being dilated.

 

(Villains Wikia)

Obviously, I can’t say her real name but we all called her Skeletor due to her appearance.

 

Now, you would think that we were mean to this innocent, albeit with a weakness for methamphetamine, lady because she’s a nice person.

 

Oh, trust me. She was nowhere near a nice person. She was the devil and probably looked like him, too. I never saw horns, but I’m sure she had them. Just like I never saw her smoke meth, but I’m sure she was doing it.

 

She never smiled, never complimented anyone and never had anything positive to say. You knew if you were interacting with her, it wasn’t going to be positive.  

 

Once, she called me into the manager’s office for a workplace audit. Yes, a 17-year-old bagger was receiving an audit. They took it much more seriously than I did.

 

“You failed your audit!” Skeletor screamed at me in her signature raspy tone, only three feet away from me.

 

Looking into her sunken and dilated eyes as she barked the status of my audit to me was one of the scariest moments of my life.

 

“By how much?” I asked in a half-assed manner.

 

“You failed!” she screamed even louder.

 

“I know, but I’d like a number amount, please.” I told her.

 

“You failed!” she yelled so loud that I’m surprised a window didn’t break.

 

“Please, Skeletor. Give me a numerical amount.”

 

“Zero!” she barked, “You got a zero out of 25!”

 

This lady never knew what an inside voice was.

 

Yeah, I failed all the other audits with flying zeroes as well. I was 17 and couldn’t have cared less. They were giving me money and I didn’t care. Then, as completely expected me, they fired me at the end of 2010 for the many incidents of “insubordination and disrespect” as they put it.

 

Do you have a story from the hospitality industry? If so, Tweet me at @CaptainKasoff and we’ll talk!